The good news is that listening is a skill. Not a talent. You are not born with it. You build it. Like learning to cook or playing the guitar, the more you practise it with intention, the better you get.

Let me give it to you straight. You will not become a great listener overnight. But if you try these simple habits every day, your conversations will start to feel different. People will open up more. You will catch things others miss. And slowly, you will become the person others feel safe around.

Here are 5 habits to help you get started:

1. Put the phone face down:

This is not revolutionary, but it works. When someone is talking to you, put your phone away or at least flip it over. No one likes speaking to a forehead. Eye contact changes the vibe completely. Even five percent more presence creates a massive difference.

2. Do not wait to speak. Wait to understand

Most people listen just enough to find their next chance to jump in. That is not real listening. Instead, wait to truly understand what they are trying to say. You will be surprised how many times what they mean is different from what they say. When you wait to understand, you respond. When you wait to speak, you react.

3. Use silence as a tool

You do not have to fill every pause. Sometimes, just holding space without jumping in is enough. Let the silence breathe. It tells the other person you are not rushing to move on. It tells them they matter.

4. Reflect before replying

Instead of jumping straight into “Yeah, I had something similar” or “You know what you should do,” try reflecting back what they just said. Something like, “So you felt ignored when that happened?” or “That must have been frustrating.” It shows you were not just hearing words. You were processing emotions.

5. Practice with strangers

This one is underrated. Your cab driver. The chai guy. That one classmate you never talk to. Next time, ask a real question and actually listen to their answer. You will notice two things. One, they light up. Two, you get better.

The brain loves shortcuts. If you keep faking attention, your brain will treat that as the default. But if you train yourself to slow down and truly listen, that becomes the new normal. And that version of you is sharper, calmer, and much more powerful in any room.

These are a few techniques from my eBook "From Silence to Spotlight". Do give it a read too, if you liked this article.